Reject

Last night I was fully prepared to cry myself to sleep. With how I was feeling all afternoon and evening led me to believe nothing less would occur… And then I went to the conference. A spirit of rejection can produce so many different issues; always feeling left out, never feeling good enough/acceptable, desperate to be loved but convinced we’re unable to be loved, judgement of every facial expression/body movement/eyes and tone of voice when talking with another, pushes us into offense/unforgiveness/accusation, fears in multiple areas and it causes us to reject ourselves. Now, I’m not saying that I every single person who deals with these issues and similar ones has a spirit of rejection – I’m just learning about these things myself. What I am saying is, there’s a really good possibility that one exists if there are these issues.
The spirit of rejection enters in numerous ways; parents, other family members, divorce, peers and generational rejection.

What we do about it is up to us. We can either continue walking in the fear, or we can walk in faith that we are loved, we are accepted and we are important. Everywhere we go it’s common to feel not good enough – like we’re lacking something. It’s common to see others and recognize what you don’t have. How often do we go back though and count up the millions of things we do have though? Not nearly enough – because if that were so there wouldn’t be as many people hurting or attempting to ‘get even’ or people striving for the things they don’t have.

Experiencing rejection can be the most physically, spiritually and emotionally devastating of all human emotions.

 

Sitting in a room hearing all of these things and so much more really pushed me to recognize what was holding on inside of me. The thing which I was so terribly dealing with yesterday. I had a spirit of rejection in my heart, mind, soul. It was so deep I didn’t even recognize it.
(Hello, continual learning process. Hello, deep dark layers of Danielle. Hello, things which thought they’d never have to surface.)
After the teaching we went into a time where they started walking people through removing these nasty things which have become attached onto these people. When they hit “deep wounding and brokenhearted-ness”  I found myself crying uncontrollably. I found myself face to face with the leader, as she came back to where I was sitting. I found myself feeling all of the pain I’d ever pushed down. I found myself speaking the pain away. I found myself able to breathe. I found myself.

I’m not perfect – I will never claim to be such. I will however say, I am amazing. I am strong. I am incredible. I am emotional. I am precious. I am to be honored. I am to be respected. I am created to be none other. I am unique. I am honest. I am me.
I’m not a scared little girl afraid of being hurt, wounded, broken up with. I’m not afraid of receiving love. I’m not worried about whether or not I’m lovable.

2 thoughts on “Reject

  1. *Standing Ovation Of One!* I think I woke up my kids when I got to the end of this as I was cheering too loud, but they’re back to sleep so it’s all good. You are sooo right! You are amazing, strong, incredible, emotional, precious, unique, and honest! You are to be honored and respected! You are worth it! You are worth it all! To see that you get that is so uplifting to hear and I can’t tell you how much it makes me want to throw you a party!

    You are you, “created to be none other”. You deserve love and affection and you will find it. I believe it to my core.

    • Haha! Your poor kiddo’s! Hopefully you didn’t startle them too badly!
      Thanks, Scattered – I appreciate your response!! It’s been quite a journey the past month, and it will continue to be a journey. Stepping into the recognition I have over the past few days hasn’t been the easiest – but at least it’s finally come. Who knows what the future holds!

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