So much has been happening, there is a post written which will someday be revealed to the public, for now though it remains private. (It’s titled “Hello, Heart.” just FYI)
I’m back at the place I was two months ago – amazed at what happens and how people can act all the while not trying to allow too much hurt to be felt because at this point it’s rather ridiculous. I’m stepping through and making the changes as I see fit, even though there is a deadline looming (I love making personal deadlines). My mind is being de-cluttered. My heart is on the mend, with no one’s help. My persistence, fight, drive, strength and desires have all taken a huge leap for the better. Overall, it’s quite easy for me to say that I’m coming out of this relationship for the better. MUCH better. His impact on my life was significant, for all kinds of reasons, good and bad. It’s easy to identify both sides, which I’d consider a good thing – it is just upsetting that there has to be a ‘good’ and a ‘bad’ side.
One thing that kept flying through my mind the past week or so has been the song by the Backstreet Boys titled “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)”… Who says that those 90’s boy bands were crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about? It sucks, but in some relationships that is exactly how it goes – one person feels like no matter what they do the other has a certain power over them, their heart and their mind. So scary, and not at all as it should be. So. That is over. Dear goodness – it is so over.
No one will ever again make me even feel as though I’m being manipulated. (Declaration there!)
Now, to truly understand this strength which I have declared in myself and others say they see in me. I’m not going around a mountain this time – I’m picking myself up, recognizing what needs to be, and climbing over.