Over 3 years ago I wrote the following, and I still feel pretty much the exact same. I’d like to think that says something about me and my character… (Also, what kind of 20-year-old was I?!?)
How will you ever know? (July 22, 2008)
So, yesterday and today I have been thinking about what I want for my life.
Immediately, I would love it if an apartment would go through and I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a place to live anymore. A week off from work to be able to take all of my closest friends with me away somewhere… Of course, we’d all get along perfectly even though the majority of them don’t know one another. Oh! And money would never be an issue… Hehe! Wisdom to know what to do and what to say when faced with a situation in which all you do is stand there. The feel of a guys arms around me. About 5 days filled with nothing but sleep just in order to catch up. An adjustment from my chiropractor… The list continues, but I won’t.
Just looking at that list however, it makes me wonder: why is it I feel these things would make my life is complete? Some of them are possible and even probable in happening; others don’t have a chance in the world.
In the long run of things, I’d love to live a long, full, happy, life. Have my own company that would reach out and touch people’s lives in some sort of way – hopefully it’ll be able to focus on women who have had abortions. Find a great guy who is on fire for God whom I will spend the rest of my life with, and one day have children with who are healthy, strong, and love God. That’s pretty much all that I want. Yeah, it would be great to be rich and not have to worry about finances, but money doesn’t buy happiness. If I were rich, I would most likely wind up giving the majority of it away to those who are less fortunate.
I realized last year that both of my brothers and I are the same when it comes to giving. We will give and not expect anything in return, just because we love to see others happy. I honestly don’t have a problem paying for my friends when we go out to eat (within moderation of course!) or even buying something for them when they don’t have the money. In the past few years I’ve noticed that my heart is one that will never say no when a friend is in a hard place. I won’t stop talking to someone just because they’ve gotten themselves into something. Heck no… That’s generally when someone needs the most support. I hope all of my friends know that I’m always there for them. If it’s an emergency I would totally cancel plans to go help them, anytime, anyplace, it doesn’t matter. I like to think that there are lots of people in the world who are like that. Isn’t it taught to us from a very young age to treat others the way you would like to be treated? Whatever happened to that? Those are words I practically live by. I hate it when people judge me, so it takes A LOT for me to judge a person. Most don’t understand that. This is a shame, because it’s the truth. It doesn’t matter what you tell me, I won’t hold anything against you. In this world today people also aren’t used to others caring about them. This is one of those things that I just can’t help. I care about people way too much for my own good. Even if I hardly know a person, if I hear that they’re going through a tough time or things aren’t going the best, I’m completely there for them. This takes people off guard – who in this world cares about anyone besides themselves anymore? *raises hand* I do!! Don’t believe me? Guess you don’t know me then. Agh! I hate it when people look at me and all they see is a ditzy, young, immature, crazy girl. There’s so much more depth to me than that, thank you very much. It cracks me up when people stray from getting to know me. *grins* You should never judge a book by its cover, you’ll never know what you’re missing.
Did I really just write another blog and come to absolutely no conclusions and not say anything too mind-blowing? Oy.
What a week… What a month… What a year… What a life.