The Last Quarter

We find ourselves at the start of a new month. How did that just happen? It truly does not feel as though much time has passed since the start of my time here in PA. Going back through I’m able to add up all of the highs and lows and come out with more than 4 months of life. Time has never felt so short.

The past continues to linger in areas I wish it not. People continue to amaze me. My life continues to be one which I cannot believe is mine.

I was thinking about my past relationship earlier and thought about Jennifer Connelly’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You – Janine. She is the lone married woman in the film based around relationships, and when she finds out her husband cheated on her she accepts it and attempts to move on and fix the relationship. However when it is revealed that he lied to her – she throws a bit of a fit and kicks him out.
Every time I see the part of the movie where she throws stuff around, shatters the mirror and immediately goes to clean it up I can’t help but think “That’s what I do!” However, I previously thought that was the extent of similarity between the character and myself – today I saw more. She desired full truth, she gave him so many chances, she wanted to pull through, she wanted the relationship to be all it could be, she wanted her husband to be the man she thought he was, she wanted to believe, she had abundant hope. Eventually though, there came a point where she realized the things she desired and hoped for in the relationship would never be, and made the choice we all wanted her to make. To kick him out and ask for a divorce. To severe the relationship. To move on with her life. To chase after her dreams.
That’s my desire. That’s what I’m doing. That’s why I’m still here. I have no idea what the next couple of months holds for me, but the end of this year is no doubt going to be a let down.

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