Loss of Time

Not going to lie, time has been flying by at such an increased rate lately it is a bit concerning. Summer went by with a blink of an eye. I found myself in a complicated situation emotionally and physically – attempting to navigate through new relationships and jobs, eventually adding school on top of it all. It’s a wonder I’m able to get out of bed on a daily basis.
Without a doubt there are still areas of my being that are complicated, but I suppose that is to be expected. Working the equivalent of a full-time job, going to school full-time, beginning a relationship, and living an hour away from essentially everything really wears on a person.
Because of the lack of time lately my mind has become something like a bee’s nest – always swarming. The thoughts are never-ending, concerns overwhelming, desires almost unbearable. I’m aware of how much I’m putting myself through currently, but I don’t want to remove anything in this time. The one thing that pushes me constantly is the fact I will be in Europe for all of Christmas break. I bought my ticket finally. This Christmas I will give myself a great present – being on the only continent I’ve ever felt at home. So thrilling!!
When I originally had the idea I wondered about what I’d do with my time there, but it’s gotten to the point where if all I do is wander around the streets of the towns I stay in, I will be content. No schedule, no requirements, no stress — it sounds beyond delightful.
I can’t wait for my heart to feel so at ease… I hope it happens soon. Who knows what else I will need to navigate before that happens. Very likely it’s more than I can currently imagine though.