Temporary

Not even going to lie, in the midst of the chaos my life handed me the last couple of weeks, I missed a few things occurring in my friends’ lives. Finding a few minutes for Facebook (the major social networking site used by too many) the other day I was greeted with engagements, pregnancy and birth announcements, as well as a head tilt. Why was there a head tilt? Because I noticed my list of friends was not the same as before. While others may wish to remove themselves from my life all I can say is, that’s fine with me. I have never lied about my emotions or feelings. If you are or were at one time lucky enough to have been considered a confidant in my life than I would hope that you would recognize that even though life sucks sometimes and I don’t know what I want half of the time, I still care.

My heart jumped into my throat, my skin was covered with goosebumps, confusion rattled around my mind… Now, a few days later I’ve moved on. When someone makes it obvious they no longer want me in their life, it helps me remove them from mine. I don’t struggle with worry over whether or not they will understand. I don’t wonder if they will hate me. I don’t fear the next time I see them.

Like so many times before a person entered my life and served their purpose, helped me, understood me through confusion, supported my hopes… And then when it was time, they moved on. Sometimes the process is long, ugly and undesirable and other times it’s swift, without pain and obvious.

Everyone has their walls, issues, struggles, challenges and when help is necessary someone enters your life just to support you. As much as you want to hold on to those people, keep them in your life and continually rely on their support – you can’t.