Life in pieces

If you know me in person you know that my life has been the messiest and craziest it’s ever been.

Every day has become a roller coaster of emotions due to divorce and custody proceedings, fears and attempting to calm a tumultuous sea.

My heart is so overwhelmed. My mind has had challenges or questions I hadn’t anticipated. My soul is hurt.

A high level of uncertainty is impacting every aspect of my life.

I don’t even know how often in a few months I will have my child in my custody. I finally have the baby boy I loved, cried for, and dreamed of for years and he might not be with me every day… it’s heartbreaking to think about.

The choices my (ex) husband made years ago broke my world to pieces a year and a half ago and have created aftershocks in my current life.

All I want is to be happy, safe, and have my happy little family with just some level of certainty.

Someday. Maybe someday.

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up”

In my life recently there has been interest in my free time. When people ask me if I’m getting enough rest or what I enjoy to do in my free time I mostly laugh at them. This has been the story of my life for many years now. I work full-time and I go to school full-time. Those two in themselves is enough to consume my entire life. I find it truly amusing when college students complain they have no time and upon further discussion I discover that they live with their parents and don’t work. It’s around this point that I lose hope in humanity.

If we are raising children to become young adults who cannot carry more than a full course load at a time, then I wonder how exactly they plan on living as a mature adult. I just heard about employees for a company who have been complaining about staying late, going in after hours for meetings and not being scheduled in ways that work with their lives – and then I heard about the fact they sit around and watch television while on the clock. Are you kidding? They’re complaining about a list of things and yet they don’t realize how easy they have it.

What happened to a decent days work? What happened to the work ethics of all people? What happened to the minds of people making them believe that they deserve to be waited on hand and foot – even in their place of employment?

I don’t have a lot of free time on my hands. I do take on many more things than I should. I do my utmost best in all aspects of my life. Neither my work nor my school is lacking. In fact I will brag about myself for a moment – I’ve been on the Dean’s List every semester and have over a 3.8 cumulative GPA. I am a hard worker. Something that seems to be an idea of the past.
I’ve made it through a lot of very difficult times in my life because I have continued to strive.

Babe Ruth said, “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up”. Great advice, especially to those who fail to see how much they have to be thankful for.